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  1. Butt hair is not common in everyone, but it runs in some lineages.
  2. The human body was never wired for convenience. It might be some odd evolutionary addition that was never really removed, something that was once of benefit, but as we evolved, it became quite useless just like the appendix.

The original function of butt hair is protection. You must never forget that every hole in your body-including your butthole are quite sensitive. So like every other sensitive hole in your body, there is a need to protect your butthole. At our current evolutionary position, we stand upward in a straight posture. In this straight posture, the muscles for sitting convenience completely fold behind it, giving it all the protection it requires as long as we ensure it is clean. But before we acquired this posture, we would have ended up with a posture like that of the gorilla. Try to bend over when your pants are off your ass. You will discover that the both sides of gluteous maximus are no longer completely sealed. So imagine you are in that position at all times, everyday.

If this were to be the case, you would have had your butthole exposed to open air, sun, and even parasites. Having hairs in your asshole in such circumstances would make the hair a kind of insulator and sunblock and prevent the small critters you hate having around that little hole from making it their permanent residence.

Related QuestionsMore Answers Below

Here is a funny story for you about why we have hair there. Unfortunately, I can’t lay claim to the authorship.

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my buttcheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. «Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!» I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. «How many Indians could there be?» said by General Custer. «Looks like a good day for a drive!» by JFK. «There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!» by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two buttcheaks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving.

And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: «It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.»

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair — ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.


I can’t find the original post or who the author is, but here’s a link to one of the first reposts: EVE Online | EVE Insider | Forums

I am a guy and I have a very hairy butt crack. Should I shave it or not

If it bothers you.

If you want. No harm in giving it a go and seeing how it feels.

Little scissors will do enless you want thick ass shaved hair round your bum

I hate the feeling of a shaven butt crack. It feels so weird, I haven’t shaven me ass in a decade.

Hope I’ve helped!

And, don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you.

Butt crack hair on girls?? -srry for tmi.?

Sorry for tmi but I don't wanna ask my friends. and no one knows me on here soo. Is this normal. I have a little bit of peach fuzz on my butt.. but in the crack theres a lot more.. shave or no shave. ?? what to do.. am i weird.